So you're at a point in
your life where everything has fallen into place, literally. Your career is
good, your social life is exciting, you've found your sense of style and you
look better than you have in years. Just one thing missing. Where is the...err
boyfriend? The man, the lover, the husband, the best friend, the significant
other? It has come to your attention that happy couples annoy you. You stare
longingly at the man and woman walking past you in the street, hands held,
talking and smiling with an obvious affection and tenderness for each other.
You put yourself out
there and hope for the best, but in the relationship department you seem to be
like a sinking ship. Taking a look at yourself, the problem just cannot be you.
I mean, your appearance is at least decent, you're confident, and your
personality is a winner.
So why are you single?
I'll tell you why!
1. You're not ready for
a relationship.
Just because you think
you are; doesn't mean you are. You think you've got it together, but really you
haven't. Those wounds from your past and those insecurities that you hide stop
you from offering the best version of yourself to the world.
2. You want a perfect
man.
Well, I'm pretty sure
that you are no wide eyed angel with a nineteen inch waist , perfectly
symmetrical features, and a halo above your head signifying that God himself
knows you are divine. So why do you expect to get a 7"foot tall man with a
chest as hard as a wall and muscles that feel like bricks, who makes millions,
is an alpha male but listens to you talk all night like your best girlfriend
would?
Since I don't think he
exists, I would advise listening to what a person makes you feel rather than
prematurely judge him on a set of near impossible standards. Chances are that
you blow off that guy who always tries to make you laugh, the one who runs to
your aid every time you need a favour but is only 5"8 and makes a middle
level income.
By no means should you
lower your standards, but rather use them to align yourself. Good attracts
good. Make yourself into a person even you would want to be with. If you want a
physically fit man, have you made efforts to be in tip top shape too? You want
him successful; do you work hard for what you earn too?
3. You play games.
I've read a hundred
times from different writers that "you should play hard to get" and
"make him chase you". These rules turn women into damsels waiting for
the prince who despite being rejected a thousand times will be unrelenting and
persistent. The truth; however is that these actions may in fact confuse
potential suitors. You may communicate "not interested" while
intending to say “try harder".
Sure, you should not be
overly eager, desperate or clingy. And no, acting like you like him when you do
is not a horrible, unforgivable sin.
4. You're looking/
searching.
Stop. Just stop
looking. I've heard before that "needing nothing attracts everything"
and couldn't agree more. Being single is not a crime, or anything to be ashamed
of. Take this time to be in your element, understand yourself and love
yourself. Enjoy the freedom that comes with being single. Wear your sweatpants
all day in the house and forget to comb your hair, and dress up real nice to
party with your friends at other times. You can afford to be selfish and spoil
yourself without worrying about inconveniencing your other half. The right guy
will come along, and you don't have to go out of your way to find him.
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